“You have to know your job, too” Groe says.  “Bosses tell employees what their expectations are, in the beginning.  The employee does what they think the boss wants, but oftentimes [their priorities] are wildly different in rank and order. People often don’t know what’s expected of them.”  You have to help your boss by ‘managing up.’”  Groe suggests asking your boss to coffee and discuss your goals with him or her.  “Get it straight between the two of you,” he says, adding that a friendly invitation to coffee is rarely turned down.

David Garry currently lives in Manhattan and worked for several years at a non-profit organization in Chicago and remembers all too well his negative experience. “My boss was four generations removed from me,” says Garry.  “It made it extremely difficult to communicate with him and when I did get my point across I was generally met with accusations.”  Garry says he battled the frustration by heaping on professionalism, but that it limited his progress—and the company’s progress, as well.  “I tried to use only the business speak appropriate to the job I was in, but it made it difficult to be forward thinking or improve on an antiquated process.”

Garry says he tried to make the best of a bad situation and admits he learned a lot from the experience, but Freeman and Groe suggest several trouble-shooting strategies that can make those lessons a little easier to swallow.  “Most bosses don’t know how to manage,” says Groe.  “They’ve received training in marketing, technology and finance, but haven’t had a ‘booster shot’ in management for years.”  Groe says a “bad” boss often just plain doesn’t know how to be good.  “So be proactive.  The more aggressive your boss is, the better this method works—they’ll end up seeing you as a candidate for higher up positions because of your level of competence and understanding.” 

Freeman adds that sometimes, you do need outside help—or another job altogether.  “If one is terrified of his or her boss, then it would be important to go to a trusted person in HR to share concerns.”  Freeman notes the importance of writing down what’s going on, for your own clarity and for legal reasons.  “Thinking that your boss is bad and having documented evidence of a bad boss are two different things.  If the problem is more systemic, it’s probably better to seek our another job.”