1. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.-Gilda Radner-
2. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -Wendy Liebman-
3. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I also
know that I'm not blonde.
4. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr-
5. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson-
6. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told
me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36
7. I think -- therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead-
8. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
9. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
10. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman
with a dumb guy.
11. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. -Elayne Boosler-
12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything
done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-
13. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinhem-
14. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
-Baroness Edith Summerskill-
15. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
16. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-
17. The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. -Helen
Hayes (at 73)
18. I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.